Pink Bows & Stilettos

The problem with being a person of faith is that you have hope. And when your hope is met with unfulfilled expectation, when what you are believing for fades in front of your eyes...the hope is replaced with grief. A deep sense of sorrowful surprise because you truly believed in the impossible. But then something miraculous does happen. After a time the hope returns, spurred on by the tiny seed of faith left over from the dying, withered dream. And you dream again...and again. And again. Each time you think, "This is it. I can't possibly survive this pain." And you do. You not only survive, but you endure like the old oak trees with deep roots in the fertile soil. Everything changes around them, but they stand firm and immovable. And each year they feel a wearing away, an exhaustion. If they had a mind, it would be clouded. If they had a soul, it would lay dormant. They grow cold and barren. Then, like a miracle, a warmth envelops their body, their arms, their finge...

"If you want to bring forth grit in your child, first ask how much passion and perseverance you have for your own life goals." - Angela Duckwork, Grit My daughter Arya is at the stage in life where she is literally imitating everything. Her words are coming out a little clearer and she is extremely expressive. There is no doubt when she is happy and there is no mistaking when she is angry. Her temper tantrums are coming to a peak, something she never really did until this year. A couple weeks ago, I realized that her exasperated growl sounded vaguely familiar...too familiar. I immediately felt convicted to my core. What have I been inadvertently showing her about how to handle her emotions? She is Miss Independent. She wants to put on her shoes, take off her coat, feed herself and do her own hair (still don't let her do the last one). As an overprotective mommy, I am always hesitant to let go. I stand close beside her as she goes up and down the stairs, although ...

With the warmer weather finally here, our minds are focused on summer. On Monday, the seniors at Oberlin College will be graduating and going on to the next steps of their journey. For the rest of the student body, you may be working a part-time job, doing an internship, taking an academic course, or conducting research. Some of you may be doing a combination of these while traveling around the globe. Wherever you find yourself this summer, I encourage you to take advantage of every opportunity to learn about yourself - your interests, your strengths, your weaknesses - and try something new. You can do this in many different ways, but here are a few ideas to make the most of your summer experiences. 1. Make a new friend. A friend, not an acquaintance. Really take a chance to get to know someone and allow them to get to know you. And, if you are like me, it may be a challenge to continue that friendship, so plan now to make efforts to stay in touch, even if you live a continent away ...

Recently I met with a student that was looking for a summer job. She didn't know what she wanted, but knew what she didn't want. To me, that is just as important so I pushed forward into the appointment, excited about the conversation ahead. As we talked about possibilities and I showed her the resources available, she continued to shoot down every suggestion or opportunity. I was a bit irritated (I hadn't finished my cup of coffee yet), but would not be deterred. She was abrupt, distant and really irritated herself. I let her know that maybe it would actually be an important step to just explore and seek herself out a bit. At that, she erupted into tears. I realized that the tough exterior was just a facade for the pain inside. She felt inadequate, confused and overwhelmed. I let her cry and reminded her she was doing the right things, and it would all become clearer as she moved forward. I said I'd been in her shoes and told her my story. In her brokenness, I hop...

Over the past week, I reconnected with an old friend, caught up with a good friend and went out with a new friend. All of these women were relationships I made through current or past work experiences. As strong and educated women, I am able to learn from them and grow with them. I am confident that if one of us needed something, the other person would be more than willing and capable to assist. At a risk of over simplifying, this is authentic relationship-building at its finest.  Of course, I have varying levels of professional relationships in my network, and it is important to identify what those levels are for you. I like to say that there are three degrees of separation: Inner Circle - people that know you well and you know well Intermediate Circle - people you acquainted with or recently met  External Circle - people you want to get to know in the future That Inner Circle is precious and is a core group of people that you admire. These relationships t...