Emulating Passion and Perseverance

"If you want to bring forth grit in your child, first ask how much passion and perseverance you have for your own life goals." - Angela Duckwork, Grit

My daughter Arya is at the stage in life where she is literally imitating everything. Her words are coming out a little clearer and she is extremely expressive. There is no doubt when she is happy and there is no mistaking when she is angry. Her temper tantrums are coming to a peak, something she never really did until this year. A couple weeks ago, I realized that her exasperated growl sounded vaguely familiar...too familiar. I immediately felt convicted to my core. What have I been inadvertently showing her about how to handle her emotions?

She is Miss Independent. She wants to put on her shoes, take off her coat, feed herself and do her own hair (still don't let her do the last one). As an overprotective mommy, I am always hesitant to let go. I stand close beside her as she goes up and down the stairs, although she refuses to hold my hand. I finally stopped insisting, knowing that this was really important for her to do on her own. At least, she thinks so. I want to encourage her to learn to do things on her own, even if it is the small, mundane, everyday tasks. These are actually the most valuable lessons for her right now! And yet, they seem to be the hardest for me to pass on to her fully. When I do, it's like watching my baby step out on her own to being the little girl I know she's becoming.

We started game nights and art nights. My husband got her a little craft table where I set up her crayons, coloring books and a paint set. She is actually very good about not getting into her paints unless she asks (shocker, I know). This is probably because I always say yes. They are water-based and come out of clothes and the carpet easily, so I let her her at it in her little artist apron we got at the dollar store. She creates these beautiful pieces of art and I encourage her to mix colors until her little heart's content. At first, I was frustrated because the entire painting turned brown when she mixed all the colors together. But I saw the enlightenment across her face when she realized what happened. On the next few paintings, she was much more intentional on which colors she blended and asked for more paint when it wasn't quite right. She was learning from her mistakes! And as a result, becoming more and more creative. It was like a lightbulb went off in my head. Sometimes, a child needs to learn from first-hand experience, and that experience can create something beautiful.

Have I stopped learning and growing? Do I make the effort to create beautiful works of art? Have I taken for granted the mundane, everyday tasks and trudge through them without noticing anything new?

I want Arya to see the passion and drive inside of me that I know exists, but is laying dormant for reasons unknown to me. What are my life goals? Am I achieving them? How do I know if I am if I don't know what they are anymore?

Oh, right. Social Justice. Human Rights. Equitable Education.

They somehow got lost in Paw Patrol and dirty diapers.

My passions? Writing. Reading. Theater.

I gave those up somewhere between the sleepless nights from the first year to the tantrums of the third year.

But I'm finding them again...slowly. Here in these words I'm writing right now. In the commitment I made to my husband to go to the gym with him at least twice a week. In my application to graduate school for this fall.

My passions and perseverance. My deep-seeded desire to be a good example to my daughter. My unquenchable thirst to see her create and grow and learn.

My quaking hand as I let her go...slowly.