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Realigning Your Priorities



I rang in the new year without fanfare, without balloons and confetti, without even a glass of champagne. Instead, I laid on the couch with my husband watching Harry Potter and trying desperately to stay awake until the clock struck midnight.

There's no room for balloons and resolutions in my life. I gave these up long ago in exchange for an actual life, full of actual dreams and actual people I love. So there's that.

HOWEVER, I do love setting a goal every now and then. My motto is, make it achievable and make it worth your while.

Every January, my church does a corporate fast and I work hard at finding something to give up. A few weeks ago I heard very clearly in my heart of hearts that I needed my priorities examined. I already knew that because I felt like I was wading through sludge every day, the moment I woke up. It was weighing me down, sucking up my energy, swallowing my passion. I felt empty - worse than empty. Pathetic. Hopeless.

It was silly, really, considering I have it all. I am not speaking out of arrogance or ignorance; it's just the truth. In comparison with most of the world, I have everything I need and could possibly want. But the sludge was there, nonetheless. The worst part was, no one knew. I didn't know how to express it, how to let the words slide off my tongue. I didn't know how to release the discontentment and it scared me. It felt all-consuming.

And that's when I heard it, when I was at my very worst. I needed to prioritize. What is THAT? Spring cleaning? How is that supposed to help me? I NEED HELP.

I didn't even know what type of help. Just HELP.

Luckily I have a husband that prays. He sat down with me and told me the same thing I already heard, what I already knew. I needed to prioritize.

I recently found this great resource that is supposed to make you more productive at work (stay with me - this is going somewhere). It is a form you complete every morning that outlines projects and tasks, intentionally plans breaks, and lists items you look forward to doing later that day. One thing I particularly love is the little section on top that prompts you to share what you would do if you could live today over again. Remember, you complete this in the morning so you are really writing things that are absolutely top of importance to you; these are your must-have and must-do's. The bottom of the page has you state your life theme. The idea is if the tasks listed and even the things you enjoy don't fit with your life theme, it's time to reevaluate what you're doing.


Now if I could "do over" my days, what would I make sure I did? What are my priorities? And how could I prioritize my life if I don't even know what I want? 

I love my job and it is easy for me to come in every day. Work and feeling needed and useful - this is a high priority for me. Being a mother, holding my daughter, kissing her little face, meeting her needs - this is the greatest joy of my life. But there are other things, more important things, at least they should be more important. But the problem was, they weren't. 

I've been in pain lately. Actual, physical pain. I went to the chiropractor yesterday. My back and hips are all out of alignment. I have to go back tomorrow and today I did a half hour of yoga today during my lunch hour. But how do I realign my soul? How do I reprioritize my life?

This is taking a lot of effort, a lot of prayer, and a lot of support from those closest to me. But first I had to figure out my life theme. Where do I see myself in the future? Who do I want to be? 

Secondly, I needed to figure out if what I am doing now aligns to that vision of my future self. And most importantly, does what I am doing now have lasting value - is it meaningful, purposeful or am I living by accident?

I have slowly been pulled from the sludge the last couple weeks. The residue still clings to me. I know this month will be a difficult one as I continue to reevaluate who I've become and what I am doing with the precious time I have here on earth. I will not go too deeply into goal setting or introspective meandering, but I will discover what is important to me, what I value and how my life reflects this. 

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